Dear Santa

Chairman Mao is anticipating the coming holiday season. Ever since former labor camp volunteer Deng Xiaoping decided China should be open-mindedness to western countries, many Chinese have found other holidays that don't have meaning in 5,000 years history of China. Now days in China, we make all products for laowai Christmas. We make toys, hats, and fake trees.

Many of comrades don't know true meaning of Christmas. Every year some old laowai flies through Chinese airspace, dodges our high technology anti-aircraft missile defense, picks up toys from factories in Shenzhen, and flies to laowai houses all over the world. He even leaves some toys for us Chinese too. I also keep hearing other story about this holiday, but I never found who this Jebus laowai is anyway.

This year, Chairman Mao got his own reindeer and sleigh. Going to deliver Christmas greetings to all laowai in China. I know all laowai in the world celebrate this new holiday.