Friday, October 29, 2010

Super-duper Computing

China has the world's fasterist computer in the world. Suck on that Foreignland!

Chairman Mao would like to thank Commodore Computers for helping China's super-genius computer geek squad in assembling great computers from Ikea. Wen Jiabao was very helpful with the Allen wrench.

With this greatly designed feat of computer engineering, Chinese can access all 20 government-approved websites in great fastness.

Friday, October 8, 2010

Liu Who?

The smoked salmon eating viking pirates of Euroland awarded Nobel Peace Prize to Chinese man named Liu Xiaobo. While Chairman Mao is pleased that this prize is finally coming home to great China where it was invented 2500 years ago, he is also regrettably to inform Norwegianese that this person does not exist. In glorious 5000 years history of harmonious and human rights abiding China, no one by the name Liu Xiaobo has ever existed.

However, let us not let this prestigious prize go to waste. Chairman Mao will happily accept on behalf of himself and the great socialist-with-Chinese-characteristics government of China.