Thursday, January 24, 2008

Chairman's Holiday

Chairman Mao is on holiday in Foreignland America. He's busy seeing the sights on his first visit to the country--the journey will take him around New York, Washington, and other laowai places. He'll share his thoughts and manifestos with his fans as soon as he finds the time.

Saturday, January 19, 2008

Beer of Choice

I am new spokes-chairman for greatest Chinese beer company in the world. Great stock choice too. Tsingtao beer is the Chairman's choice. Cheers to comrades and laowai! 干杯!

Monday, January 14, 2008

On the Road with Chairman Mao

I asked MTV to pimp my ride and they gave me this. I can drive around China now.

Thursday, January 3, 2008

New Year's Message

Chairman Mao has been nursing a baijiu-induced hangover since Christmas. New Year's Eve didn't help with the recovery. The following is his New Year's message to his fans.

My adoring fans,
Even though it is waiguo new year, China likes celebrate festivals too. We will have Spring Festival soon to celebrate our glorious new year of the rat. 2007 is history. History is the past. Let us look to future. 2008 is now. It is the year of China and year of Olympics in China. Let us warmly welcome our laowai friends and tourist money to see great China history of 5000 years. We will conquer our enemies on the sports field. Only strong Chinese athletes can survive Beijing in summer.