Sunday, August 31, 2008

When Maos Fly

It's amazing how excited people in China get when they see a mao 猫 with wings.

That mao may have wings, but this Mao 毛 can fly.

Thanks Red Bull*.

Red Bull is the Chairman's Choice for energy drinks.

Friday, August 29, 2008

Traditional Treatment

Many laowai visited Beijing for to watch champions of China in glory over capitalist foes. But not all laowai came for games, some came for great Chinese culture of 5,000 years. So many peoples came to Forbidden City in center of China capital.

For laowai who do not know, Forbidden City is where evil feudalist emperors lived in ancient China. But Chairman Mao evicted them from large home. China needed space to house great communist leaders. In ancient times, Forbidden City was forbidden and many people would be killed if they entered Forbidden City.

Chairman Mao didn't like the treatment of peasants by feudal emperors. But, traditions die hard. Instead of killing peasants, we just punched them in stomach. Now, even laowai can experience great tradition of China.

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Olympic Hangover

What's a Chairman to do now that Olympic games have left Beijing? What is great dragon China to do with all those Olympic signs?

Chairman Mao has decided to take a rest from watching nonstop sports on CCTV. But, he'll be ready for Paralympic games coming soon. Once again, glorious motherland will rule the sports world and crush capitalist laowai on the field.

Mao has secret plan to defeat those imperialists this time. We have recruited Fuwa. Of course, we had to break their arms and legs after all those disasters that they caused, but they have been rehabilitated to win gold for the glory of China.

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Pure Gold

Chairman Mao has been celebrating great China's success in Beijing Olympics. I told you only strong Chinese can survive in Beijing air.
Although watching athletes in glory for motherland is fun, Chairman Mao went for his own gold to beat imperialists at own game. It's not important how old Chairman Mao is, or who lip-synched what anthem, or what sport he kicked capitalist ass in. What's important is that only gold matters to great socialism of China and glorious 5,000 years civilization.