Getting Up for Olympics

Chairman Mao is very satisfied that big Olympics are coming in Beijing. Very happy that Chinese genetically enhanced superhuman athletes have new ways to beat foreign devils. We will erect many monuments in their honor. Many laowai just can't do it in Beijing. But now, Chairman Mao has learned that Viagra can enhance athletic performance in bedroom and on field. All athletes will surely show their enthusiasm this August.

Fire-Breathing Poetry Lovers

Today is Dragon Boat Festival. We celebrate the death of great poet Qu Yuan who was eated by fish despite great Chinese technological technique of throwing rice in water to distract stupid fishes. Nowadays, Dragon Boat Festival is day to row boats and fight dragons that breathe fire and burn our boats by throwing zongzi at them. Maybe we should make boats out of metal.

Fight the dragon splittists! Preserve harmonious society for dragons and boats alike!

Environmentarianism

Chairman Mao says that it is the responsibility of the people to protect the environment.