Driving On

There are many road rules in China that laowai don't understand. They think our drivers have no rules and just drive along as they please, but they're wrong. We have a long and difficult driving test to ensure that our millions of drivers must take the exam many times before passing. Examples can be found at China Drivers Exam.

Wealth of Communism

This business seminar is Communist approved by the Chairman himself.

Mao in the City

We now return to our great leader's adventures in America...

After days of travel in New York, I want to find Big Apple I keep seeing. Everywhere it write, "Big Apple." All I see are small apples in shops. Where is this big apple everyone talks about?

I started looking on other side of river in New Jersey. All I saw was many tall buildings in the city. No big apple. And it wasn't in Jersey City either.

After other side of the river, we tried to go through streets. We saw many things of America. Big famous ice skating rink outside was very nice. There are many communist art inside that capitalist building too. But still no big apple.

I thought capitalists must hide such a big apple in Wall Street. After all, that's where all money is to buy such fruit. But still no. I was very upset to not find big apple of New York. But I did get to ride the bull. Weeee!

Sweeping Up

Today is Qingming Jie. To you laowai, it mean Tomb Sweeping Day. This glorious day has a long and famous history just as the glorious history of China. As is known by all Chinese, on this day we clean the tombs to appease our ancestors in the hopes that they won't turn into zombies and eat our brains. It's always scary when that happens.

So, go out and sweep the graves. Make offerings to your ancestors. We don't want more zombies like we had in 1959. It did not help our young communism at the time. Caused many panic across great Chinese motherland. We had to sweep mother's tomb so that she would go back to sleep and not terrorize the proletariat.

Fight the zombie separatists! Preserve the harmonious society!

Fooled You

Laowai are easy to fool. See, they look at Chairman Mao's blog. Now I must get back to watching the Olympic torch on CCTV. It's a 24-hour news event!