Laowai's New Gig

Chairman Mao fired his English teacher a while ago. He showed up to class drunk too many times. But in recently times, Mao found that English teacher has a new work in New York's Chinatown. It's nice that laowai teacher learned enough Chinese to find a new work.

Literary Minds Think Alike

Chairman Mao made a new friend on his recently investment tour of New York in an effort to buy the Brooklyn Bridge and many more landmarks. Laird Hunt is a great socialist laowai writer in Foreignland.
He was in New York to promoting new book, Ray of the Star. Chairman Mao doesn't know what this laowai literature is all about, but judging from the title, it must be about how wonderful China is after Mao chased away those capitalist roaders.

Poet Mao

In recently times, Chairman Mao made new friend with poet. He's from Vietnam but he's not communist, so he must be a capitalist roader. But, Mao thinks Linh Dinh is nice enough to be praised for poetry. Besides, no poet is true capitalist swine--we all know poets are poorer than farmers. Even Mao was once world-famous poet before becoming great famous leader of China. Linh Dinh and Mao both wrote beautiful poetry together.
Swimming

I drank moment ago water
Changsha's and ate fish Wuchang.
Now I cross Yangtze River's great,
looks far distance place open day Chu.
Let wind and the very rough sea waves the attack defeats,
goes far beyond stands by strolls in a courtyard.
Today, I felt relieved.
“This is a class host says --
'therefore, the matter escapes gradually!' "
The sail moves wind.
Turtle and Snake still in.
Great plan in march:
Bridge will fly to north the span and south,
talked about the profound fissure to turn the thoroughfare;
Rock head wall the upstream western area
will hinder Wushan's cloud and rain
until the smooth level of the lake rise narrow canyon.
Woman deity's mountain area, if she still existing
can exclaim in surprise in the world, in order to change.

Secret Chicken Agent

Chairman Mao made a new laowai friend in Guangzhou. Met old foreign colonel who offered some fried chicken from crazy foreign land called Kentucky. I don't know where this Kentucky is, but they grow some tasty chickens there.

After drinking mint juleps in hot Guangdong weather, Chairman Mao could not coax Col. Sanders to hand over state secret recipe for making delicious chicken. Damn the capitalist pigs! Great China will discover secret of chicken and conquer your fast food chain.

International Friendship

I met this foreign clown the other day. He's not an English teacher, but he cooks at a restaurant. Laowai crack me up. He gave me food, but no chopsticks. How can man eat with no chopsticks? I gave food to fat capitalist at next table.